Dissection
by Rylitah
Summary: Oneshot. No pairings. Contains blood/gore, and dissection. Slice, cut, tear, dissect, investigate. That's what a certain Dib Membrane and Franken Stein love to do. What happens when their next subject is a certain Irken?


**A/N: Don't kill me, don't kill me, don't kill me…**

**I know I should REALLY be updating Mansion Nightmare right now, but…That'll take me a while, seeing as how the next chapter will be the last(and the longest). And I haven't even started the chapter yet, even after about a month after it was last updated. (oh god don't kill meeeeee) Hopefully writing this will get me motivated to finally freakin' start on that thing.**

**But yeah. I've gotten into the Invader Zim fandom recently, and I have to say…Some of these stories scare me. ._.;;**

**Anyways, I've noticed the similarities between the Invader Zim character 'Dib', and the Soul Eater character 'Stein'. One, they are both crazy. Two, they both love things that have to do with dissecting(Dib is fine with it as long as it is Zim on the autopsy table). And three, they are both in awesome shows. Er, yeah.**

**Second crossover and second oneshot.**

**(If I see any mistakes, I'll fix it up. Okay? :D)**

**Disclaimer(When was the last time I've done this?): I do not own the show 'Invader Zim', or the anime/manga 'Soul Eater'. I do not own the characters 'Zim', 'Dib', 'Gaz', or 'Gir' from IZ. I also do not own the characters 'Stein', 'Maka'(Even if she is only mentioned), or 'Crona' from SE. The stuff from IZ belongs to Jhonen Vasquez, and the SE stuff belongs to Atsushi Ohkubo. Both series are really awesome, by the way.**

**NOTE: I honestly do not think it belongs to the 'M' rating. I really don't. However, this story CONTAINS BLOOD, GORE, AND DISSECTING. (Even if I'm horrible at writing that) If that makes you uncomfortable, then don't read. I don't want flames complaining about how 'You should have warned me!', because I did. Just saying this now.**

_**Also, kinda rushed at the end. Sorry. D:**_

* * *

_Creak. Creak. Creak. Creak. Creeeaaaaaakkkkk._

The screw in his head continued to make the annoying squeaks as they turned, over and over, tightening. He always did that when his mind started to get foggy. It was a type of temporary remedy, a quick fix. It was to clear his mind of the insanity that constantly nagged at him over and over.

_Click!_

He sighed, content. Now his mind was focused; sharp and clear. He could now start reading the files that were currently laid about him. Each folder contained records and information of some random kids, each file looking noticeably…empty. This school wasn't very trustworthy, or very much a place for learning.

…Doesn't the spelling in the so called, 'Skool' give it away? People in this town must be dense or something.

They even forced him to empty his cigarette before he was even finished with it! That certainly put him in a bad mood.

You see, Franken Stein had applied to an out-of-state job at a far away school, for the role of 'counselor'. His old teaching job at Shibusen? That didn't go too well when one of the students actually had the guts to say something about his so-called 'lessons' to the God of Death himself, Shinigami-sama.

He grumbled, and moved the folders aside. He'd look at them later. That was when two folders, noticeably thicker, stuck out at him. One had a picture of an odd green skinned kid on it with Elvis-like hair, while the other had a picture of another boy with glasses and a type of a scythe-style thing his hair was doing.

…How was that possible?

Stein ignored it and pulled the green skinned kid's folder closer to him, and opened it. So, the kid's name was Zim. Odd name, but whatever. He apparently had a bad habit of blurting out stuff in class. The kid had also once been sent to the nurse's office with a case of 'head pigeons'. Wait, what was that?

"Never heard of anything called, 'Head Pigeons'…" Stein mumbled, but decided to continue on reading anyway. This so-called 'Zim' kid was a transfer student. The file never stated where exactly he was from.

Deciding that he had enough with the what he assumed to be mentally ill student, he casually pushed Zim's folder to the side and brought the other kid's file closer.

Dib Membrane. Apparently in the same class as the Zim kid. Had an obsession with the paranormal, and hopes to one day become a paranormal investigator…oh wait, he already called himself one. Stein wasn't really sure what to call it, but continued reading.

Dib was apparently viewed as 'mentally disturbed' or 'challenged' by his 'peers'. He didn't have many friends--wait strike that, he didn't have ANY friends at all. Lonely kid. The boy had a record of being sent to the 'Crazy House for Boys' multiple times, with the use of a 'crazy card'. A girl named Zita was the one who usually called the cards and got Dib taken away. He apparently had a sister as well.

Stein closed the file and pushed it to the side, now looking for his sister's records. He found one with a picture of a gothic-looking girl on the front, and opened it up.

Gaz Membrane. Loves to play video games. Younger sister of Dib Membrane. Kind of quiet, but angered easily. Known to give out death threats when disturbed. Seeing nothing that stated she was ever in any kind of trouble, Stein closed the folder and pushed it away, absolutely bored.

"This is just great," the scientist mumbled to himself. "I preferred my old job at Shibusen…"

A knock on the door. After hearing the permission to enter, the person on the other side opened the block of wood and nervously sat on a chair, but not before closing the door behind him. Stein recognized him as Dib, the so-called 'paranormal investigator'.

"I was sent here by Ms. Bitters." the child said, having calmed down and was now adjusting his glasses.

"You seemed a bit nervous earlier."

"Oh, that?" He stopped toying with his glasses and brought both hands down to his knees. His golden eyes flicked up, now looking at the scientist/counselor's face. "That was Ms. Bitters' doing. She's not exactly soft on the people who annoy her, and that's practically the entire world. She only snaps at me and Zim the most, though."

"Zim and I," Stein corrected.

"Does it matter?"

There was a few moments of silence after that. Stein felt his focus slip again, and he immediately started turning the screw lodged in his head, as a force of habit. Now the room was filled with a creaking noise.

"How is that in your head, and yet you're still alive? Better yet, how did it even get in there?" Dib asked, eyeing him with curiosity.

"It's better if you don't know."

_Click! _That's better.

"So…" Stein quickly glanced at the folder. "_Dib._ Tell me what's wrong."

"Oh nothing, despite the fact that I am constantly getting humiliated every single day by that alien!"

"Alien?" Stein raised an eyebrow. So the records didn't lie.

"Zim. He's an alien. I just _know _it. The green skin, the lack of ears and nose…He wears contacts and a wig, don't you know? His real eyes are really huge and red, and without his wig, he's bald except for the two antennae on his head that twitch every now and then. I usually sneak in his house--I mean base, and I record him doing 'alien' stuff! But then he always finds out and ends up destroying my proof! I never win!"

"…" The scientist wasn't exactly sure how to deal with that…Damn, he felt like Crona for a moment. Except unlike the boy, or girl, or whatever the hell it was, he actually knew how to deal with most things in life.

"Go ahead," Dib mumbled. "Call me crazy, insane, mental. I've already been called those things, and even more I don't really remember. I've dealt with them before. All I want to do is stop Zim's evil plan to take over the Earth and turn him into the government…But not before I dissect him."

"…Dissect?" Now that caught his attention. The man had always been crazy and insane; he knew what the boy felt like. But unlike Dib, no one had even dared to mention that out loud to him. Being the greatest Meister to ever graduate from Shibusen helped with that.

"Yes, dissect. One day, Zim is going to be strapped to an alien autopsy table, courtesy of me. And being the one to capture him, I'm also going to be the one to cut him open and reveal his insides to the world! Maybe then people will start noticing me." Stein felt his curiosity peak.

"So…About this 'Zim' kid…Does anyone else know that he's an, erm…'alien'?" Dib shook his head.

"Nope. They won't believe me. But if I somehow fail to protect the world," his voice lowered to a mutter. "Though that'll never happen," he spoke normally again. "Then they'll all see that I'm! Not! Crazy!"

"Hold on, there. I don't think you're crazy." This sounded weird to him, but if the child was going on about dissecting, there was no way Stein was going to be left out.

"Re-really…? Wait a minute!" Dib stood up, glaring at the man. "You're not like Dwicky, are you?"

"Dwicky? Who's that?"

"Dwicky was the old counselor. He was…he was the first person to have ever said he believed me! But then I found out that he was _lying_! He only said that so I could, 'tell him what's really wrong,' Dib lowered his voice to a mocking tone. He paused for a moment before continuing. "But there isn't anything wrong, other than the fact that there are _other life forms _out there, and they're planning to take over or destroy the world!…Then these other aliens came along and Dwicky went with them when they left. He's now somewhere in space. He didn't believe me, and now he practically lives with them! Aurgh."

Stein just stared at the child as he continued rambling on and on. An idea clicked into his brain at that moment, and he spoke up, interrupting the other.

"Okay, okay, I got it. Look, I just said that I don't think you're crazy, not that I believe in aliens."

"What's the difference?!" Dib's voice was getting higher with irritation.

"If you bring me to Zim, and prove he's an alien, I'll help you contain him. But only under one condition." A small smile started to creep up on his face.

"…What is it?"

"I do most of the dissecting."

* * *

Skool was over for the day. A certain green skinned alien was marching home, a cruel smile plastered onto his face.

"Mwuhaha! That Dib-thing was sent to the…er, 'kown-se-lorr's' office today, meaning I didn't see him for the rest of the day! Ah, life is good…life is good." He stopped in front of his house. The kid walked up to the door, eyeing the seemingly 'innocent' garden gnomes that decorated the lawn.

"Welcome home, son!" The Robo-parents greeted as soon as the door was opened. The two moved to the side as Zim casually walked through and shut the door behind him.

"GIR!" He shouted. In front of him, the TV flickered with wavering static. Sitting in front of the box was a small green dog busy eating a chicken…alive.

"Yes, master?" The robot was gnawing on the chicken leg.

"Er, just…stay here. Make sure no one gets in! If they get in, I'm going to have to eh…punish you!" The Irken invader pulled off his wig and then off with the contacts. He made his way into the kitchen, where a lone toilet was stationed. He promptly stood in it, and…flushed himself down. No really, he did.

Zim popped out in his lab. "Computer! Scan the front yard; I can't trust GIR to do it all by himself…"

A low beep was heard, then the computerized voice spoke up. "There is no one in the front yard. Unless you count that squirrel by robot gnome number three…"

"That's fine. Make sure nobody gets in our yard! I'm very busy today. And _especially _make sure the Dib-human doesn't go anywhere _near _the house…" The alien grumbled before stomping into the depths of his lab.

"Affirmative…" The computer sighed. Even if it was just a machine, it still had a mind and a personality, just like any other living thing. It _really _wasn't in the mood for this today. Maybe Zim wouldn't mind if it slacked off a little bit…

* * *

"Are you in position?" The child called out to the man standing next to him.

"…What position? You just told me to stand here." Franken Stein was, in fact, standing right in front of Zim's house, in plain sight. He questioned Dib's intelligence for a moment.

Dib seemed to be deep in thought. "Oh," he muttered. "So I did. Anyway, you stay there. I'll sneak into Zim's house like I've done so many times before, and I'll record him with this," He held up a video camera. "I'll show you the proof. Then we capture him. We take him with us to my house, and then…"

"We dissect him." Stein finished. Dib nodded, swallowing dryly. He honestly never expected to get the alien caught so soon. Truth was, Zim had actually brought spark to his otherwise boring life. But!, he reasoned with himself. This was for the good of mankind! The world would be safe without the alien menace!…

…But he felt as if a part of him died inside. After today, it would be back to his ordinary life. After today…everything would be back to normal.

"Are you okay?" Stein's voice brought him out of his thoughts. Dib looked up and nodded.

"Ah, yeah. Just thinking about stuff…I'll go now." He rose from his kneeling position and simply walked through the gnomes. They weren't firing lasers today for some odd reason. Dib brought up a hand, a little hesitant. In the end, he decided to go through with it and started knocking.

A couple seconds later, a green dog opened the door and looked up at him.

"Hey, GIR." Dib said, looking down. "Can you let me in? I have to talk to Zim."

"…" a few moments of silence, then a loud shout. "OKAY! MASTER, MARY WANTS TO TALK TO YOU!" Dib raised an eyebrow at being called 'Mary', but let it go.

"Ah, actually, GIR, I can handle this myself. I want to make it a surprise."

"…NEVERMIND, MASTER!" GIR kept the door open so Dib could walk in. The little dog-disguised-robot walked back to the couch and started watching the television without closing the door. Dib sighed, but left it open so as to not let Zim hear it. It was normal for GIR to leave the door open, right?

He stealthily walked to the elevator, making sure not to make any noise. Months of spying on the alien's base paid off. Too bad he couldn't look in Zim's basement though; the Irken's powerful computer would always snuff out any cameras or bugs right away and destroy them. There was no telling what could be down there.

Dib gulped and made his way to the wooden table. He knew exactly what to do. He took a deep breath, preparing his 'Zim voice'.

"Computer! Take me back to the living room. I think GIR left the door open again."

Wait. That wasn't him. Oh gosh, Zim was coming back up!

He quickly ran behind the couch and stayed as still as he could. The child could hear the _whrr_ sound of the elevator as it was drawing closer and closer…

Eventually, the sound ended with a loud _tchk! _noise. Zim's was obviously out of the elevator, and his footsteps were growing louder and louder. Dib did his best to squeeze himself under the couch, but not even his head went through.

_Maybe my head _is _big…_He thought glumly to himself before snapping out of it and going to the other side of the couch. If he was lucky, Zim didn't see or hear him. Which he was. The Irken paid no attention and was now at the front door.

_I hope you moved, Stein…If he sees you, who knows what'll happen?_

"GIR!" the loud, sudden voice nearly made Dib jump six feet in the air. "How many times have I told you: always close the door after you open it?! What if a _human _came in and saw us? Our entire mission would be in jeopardy! Do you know how time consuming it is to erase their memories?"

"I'm sorry, masterr~" GIR spoke. "But big-headed boy was at the door!"

"The Dib? THE DIB?! What for? What does he want with ZIIIMMM?!"

"Uhhh…He said he wanted to talk to you 'bout something. I called you, but then he said he wanted it to be a surprise then he came in and left the door open while I watched the Scary Monkey Show! I love this show…"

"What? You mean the Dib is inside Zim's base? Computer! I thought I told you _not _to let any humans near our house! Computer?…Computer!"

"Huh-whut?" the machine stirred, trying to get his act together. "Oh sorry. I thought…never mind. You don't want to know what I thought."

"Locate the Dib and kick him out!"

"I don't want to."

"ARGHH!"

Dib was about to use this chance to jump Zim, but stopped when he realized something: He didn't bring anything to restrain the alien with. He couldn't just go up and grab him; Zim's spider legs would slaughter him in an instant. There was nothing of use around him besides duct tape; what could he do? Wait, maybe there was something he could use…

"GIR," he whispered, trying the get the robot's attention. Zim was currently arguing with his house.

"Oh, hey there big-headed boy! Master's looking for you!"

"Yeah, yeah, I know. And when he finds me, he'll kill me."

"Nah, master wouldn't do that! He loves you too much!"

Dib decided to ignore that last comment. "Listen, GIR. Can you do me a favor?"

"What is it?"

"Distract Zim for me. I need to do something really important."

"…" When there was no response, Dib began to worry. Did GIR suddenly activate his duty mode? But his eyes weren't red…"OKAY!" He leaped off the cushion and tackled Zim to the ground.

"GIR--what're you--get off!"

Dib used this moment to dive for the duct tape. Once he had it, he ran over to GIR and Zim, who were currently in what looked to be a wrestling match on the floor of Zim's living room.

"AHA! THERE you are, you impudent little--GIR! Get off!" Zim had finally noticed him. The human kicked GIR off Zim's back and instead replaced it with his foot which kept the Irken firmly on the ground. He used part of the duct tape and wrapped it around Zim's PAK. Fearing that the covering would be too thin, he continued covering the PAK with extra layers of tape. "Get off of Zim!"

Dib fell backwards when Zim suddenly overpowered his foot and turned, pushing him off. The Irken loomed above him, obviously struggling with something.

"You! What did you do to Zim's precious PAK?!" Dib grinned and held up the roll of duct tape.

"Tape. I tried sealing it off. Not sure if it will work, but duct tape sure is durable, eh Zim?"

"Where did you get this…'duck tape'?"

"Duct. Not a duck. And it was on the floor."

"My floor?"

"Yes. Your floor."

The alien cast a glance at GIR. "…You had something to do with this…'duct' tape, didn't you?"

"I saw it and I want to see what it did but it was all sticky so I threw it away!" the hyperactive robot shouted.

"GIR! How many times have I told you--the floor is NOT a trash can!"

"Aww…"

Dib used this moment to grab Zim's arm and drag him out of the house, ignoring the Irken's protests.

"St-stein? I got him! Without his disguise!"

"Who is this 'Stein'-person you speak of? Unhand Zim at once!"

A tall human came into Zim's view. He was insanely tall, even for a human. He was pretty much black and white; with grey stitch patterns on his lab coat. The human had a large screw inside of his head!

"Who--what are you?!" Zim demanded.

"Eh." Stein shrugged. He looked at Dib. "So this is your alien? Not what I was expecting, but this will do."

"Wait, what? What are you planning to do with Zim?!"

"Quiet, Zim!" Dib hushed.

"Do not tell Zim what to do! I can--"

One hand from the taller human was pushed into his stomach. There was a searing pain; and all went black.

* * *

"What did you do? Shock him with your hand?" Dib's voice was heard.

"Ah, not exactly. It's a bit complicated; I'll tell you later. Looks like our specimen is waking up."

Specimen? No one uses Zim as an experiment! The Irken's eyes snapped open, and light flooded into them. He winced, then opened them again when he was sure he could handle it.

"Oh, you're right. Hello, Zim." Dib smiled. Zim didn't like that smile. Not one bit. He craned his head to look at the adult human. This 'Stein' person's face remained neutral.

_Creak. Creak. Creak. Creak. Creak._

He was turning the screw in his head; over and over.

_Click!_

A wide grin spread across his face.

'_Oh, Tallest!_' Zim thought. '_His creepy smile is worse than the Dib-thing's!'_

"Shall we begin the dissection?" Stein asked, narrowing his eyes.

"Ah, wait…Could I, erm…Cut Zim open first? I've been kind of wanting to do this for a while." Dib asked nervously. Stein seemed to tense for a moment, but handed the scalpel to the smaller being.

"Dissection? You cannot dissect Zim!"

"Oh, but we are. There's no escaping now, Zim!" The Irken's arms and legs were bound to the operation table by metal straps. They were locked tightly, pressing hard against his smooth skin. He realized just now that he couldn't feel them at all. "And you aren't seeing the light of day again, ehe…"

Down the scalpel went. Zim winced as the cold, sharp metal cut his stomach. Bright green blood flowed out of the cuts.

"Ah, so he isn't human." Stein simply stated.

"You idiot human!" Zim hissed. "If you had any brains at all, you would have been able say that confidently when you first saw me without my disguise!" Stein paid him no attention.

"Scalpel, Dib?"

Dib seemed reluctant, but gave the man his scalpel anyway. The small human was replaced with the much taller one. Stein seemed to talk to himself.

"Ah, what should I do with you? Switch your heart with your liver?"

"Idiot! Zim has no human organs! Just my squeedlyspo-agh!" The small knife slashed across the side of the Irken's face, drawing more blood.

"Quiet. I'm thinking. Should I replace your skin with sandpaper, like I threatened Maka with…? But you aren't a human, obviously…Ah, the choices…"

Dib merely stood in the shadows, watching the two. His fingers twitched to hold the scalpel again; to actually be the one to dissect the alien. After all, Zim was _his _enemy! But still, Stein wasn't…normal. He'd dissected things before. He knew how to get around all their vitals and keep them alive without killing them in the end.

But Zim wasn't human, like he'd said. Stein had experimented with many things, but not like Zim! Zim's PAK should be enough to keep the Irken alive, but what if it became too much?

"I guess I'll just dig around and see what I find." Stein concluded, and the scalpel went down again. The scientist maneuvered the tool carefully, so as to not poke anything. He made his way around what seemed to be Zim's only organ. Nothing much.

Zim was obviously not enjoying the attention to his insides. He knew squirming would get him no where; possibly even killed. Screaming wouldn't help either, but he almost couldn't help it. If he was correct, he was in Dib's basement. Meaning the only other human in the house is Dib's sister, Gaz. Gaz honestly wouldn't care what happened down here.

In other words, Zim was doomed.

"Is this all?" Stein asked, bored. "I thought dissecting something new would be more…enjoyable. But this is a major disappointment." An evil glare of light crossed his eyes, and he smirked. "Tell me, Zim. What are you again?"

"Irken," Dib was the one who answered instead.

"Mmhmm. So you aren't from this plant, obviously…What inspired you to come here?"

"His leaders." Dib answered again. "They obviously told him to take over Earth. I've made it my mission to stop him."

"Right." The scalpel was removed from Zim's body, and said Irken inwardly sighed with relief. He was almost to the point of screaming. Now that the horrible pain-inflicting tool was gone, maybe it would only get better.

Or not.

"!!" Zim's eyes widened when the scalpel returned, this time with full force. It stabbed into his organ, and he let out a cry of pain.

"What are you doing?!" Dib shouted.

"Oh, just simply _investigating _isn't enough…" Stein smiled evilly. "I have to explore every inch of my specimen, no matter where I have to go. His brain, his stomach, anywhere. Dissect…dissect…I can't help it…! I simply _must _dissect…!" Deeper the scalpel went.

Zim was fully screaming now. Maybe GIR would somehow sense his master was in danger and come to his rescue? No, this crazy human would simply destroy him in no time at all! He swore loudly.

"Stop it!" Dib was running to his rescue. Even he couldn't handle that? Maybe it was Zim's screaming, or the sight of his arch enemy being torn open by someone he just met, or maybe it was the sight of said enemy's blood coating said stranger's hands and arms? Some even got on his lab coat.

"No…Simply…must…dissect…!" The child was pushed away with ease. Zim could feel his PAK working hard to quickly replace the blood he lost, but would it be enough…?

He squeezed his eyes shut, waiting for the end.

Stein stopped stabbing at his insides suddenly. The scalpel fell to the metal operating table with a _clang!_…

Was it over?

Something told Zim it was. The only sound in the room was Stein's loud breathing and the whrring noise his PAK made as it tried to fix him up.

Stein turned around, and brought his hand up to his head, to the screw.

_Creak. Creak. Creak. Creak. Creak. Creak. Creak…_

_Click!_

Much better.


End file.
